The Importing Process
This is the first book I’ve written that’s published by the fine folks at Rocky Nook, and because of that, I think it’s only fair that I warn you once again about something that is a long-standing tradition of mine, and that is to write chapter intros that have little or nothing to do with what’s actually in the chapter. I want you to think of these as a “mental break” between chapters and not something that actually adds any value to the book, or to your life, whatsoever. To balance this, I try to put an interesting picture on the facing page—it helps give it some legitimacy—but, (a) the picture isn’t always interesting, and (b) it has never helped the legitimacy so far. Why this is important (it isn’t, by the way) is that I really want you to get a lot out of this book, and reading these chapter openers is, honestly, a step in the wrong direction. Look, I just want to be straight with you: these chapter openers are a trap. They snare you and, before you know it, you’re turning to other chapters because you can’t believe the others are as sophomoric and shallow as this one, but then you realize they have each drained a little more out of the pool. So, you keep reading one after another, instead of learning about Lightroom, because you’re wondering how my publisher lets me get away with this, and you’re either laughing or crying, because on some level you paid for these pages, and you either think “That’s okay, I dig this stuff,” or you’re thinking, “Scott must die!” If you’re thinking the latter, please don’t write me a Mr. Grumpypants letter that starts with “Mr. Kelby” (nobody calls me Mr. Kelby outside of the occasional federal court judge or the guards, but they usually just use my inmate number) because I’m obliged (through a sworn oath of chastity and pestilence between authors) to turn the letter over to my publisher, who I’m certain will make it poster-sized, put it on their wall, and dance around it saying lurid incantations until my contract with them has expired. Yes, that’s how it goes down at Rocky Nook.